Password Reset: A Short Story

I’m trying something a little different today and publishing my first piece of fiction - I hope it makes you laugh!

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The phone on John's desk rings, and as he looks down at the Caller ID, his face falls flat.

He hesitates for just a moment, wishing he could let it go to voicemail, but he knows that he can’t. He lets out a heavy sigh, dreading the conversation he’s about to have, then picks up the receiver and puts it to his ear.

“Hello Mr. President, White House IT, this is John speaking, how can I help you?”

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John closes his eyes and shakes his head in resigned exasperation. “Oh, you’re locked out again?”

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“Yeah, it sure does seem to be broken a lot.”

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“Or it could be user error,” he muttered to himself.

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“Oh, I said I’d be happy to assist you with another password reset, Sir. Before we do that, let’s just see if we can remember your password. Maybe it’s the First Lady’s birthday?”

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Ok, how about your wedding anniversary?”

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“August 12th, Sir.”

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“Is there any chance it could be your mistress’s birthday?”

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“How many are there?”

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“Umm… the most recent one, I guess?”

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“Ok, let’s just go ahead and reset it I suppose. What do you want to use this time? Ideally it would be something easy for you to remember…”

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“Hmm… it says you’ve already used your cat’s adoption date in your last 6 passwords. What about the date of the Declaration of Independence?”

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“Oh, yes, I can see how that would be a hard one to remember. Well, we definitely need to make it something that you can memorize.”

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“Sir, the nuclear launch code really shouldn’t be something that anyone walking by your desk can see on a Post-It note.”

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“Ok, I’m just resetting it to 07041776 if you’d like to write that down.”

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“What’s that?”

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“Oh, sure, I can help walk you through emailing the Vice President some photos from your phone.”

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“Sorry Sir, I think I heard you wrong… what did you say the photos were of?”

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“Amazon gift cards.”

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“You’re saying the Vice President asked you to buy him a bunch of Amazon gift cards and email him photos of the numbers on the backs?”

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“What email address does it say the message is from, Sir?”

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“Let me make sure I have the spelling right. That was ‘The’ (T-H-E) ‘Real’ (R-E-A-L) (V-P) at ‘White House dot Gov’?”

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“Oh, Govv with two V’s. Got it.”

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“I believe that’s a phishing attempt, Sir.”

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“No, I don’t think he was inviting you to go fishing either, I meant that it’s a scam.”

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“Yes, a team-building fishing trip would be a great idea, Sir.”

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“No, Sir, I don’t think the Vice President is trying to scam you. I’m saying that a scammer is trying to pose as the Vice President.”

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“Yes, that is a relief that you won’t have to exclude the Vice President from the fishing trip.”

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“No, you don’t need to unsubscribe from anything, you can just delete the email.”

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“I guess you could use the gift cards to buy fishing gear for you and the Cabinet members? ”

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“Of course, Sir, happy to help.”

John hangs up the phone and grabs a Post-It from the top drawer of his desk. He picks up his pen, jots down the code, then slips the sticky note under his keyboard for safe keeping, until the next time he gets a call to reset the password.

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